It’s been a year since my entire life changed in every area.
Looking back to where I was a year ago versus now is just miraculous.
I had become lost in the pain of my circumstances, and that caused me to disconnect from everything and everyone, including myself last July.
I was so fixated on the loss that loss kept happening like a domino effect.
It was the second darkest time in my life last summer.
Darkest time meaning inside of my mind and my heart.
I was faced with the challenge of losing myself completely to my pain or rising above it to overcome it and find my light again in the darkness.
It took months of me feeling so much grief and then finally being numb to everything, that I never want to go back to experiencing that.
I know there will be times in my life where it is darker and more painful, and I want to make sure that when those times happen, I don’t dip low like I did in my past.
I’m someone who doesn’t get angry at circumstances, I get sad. So, now that I know how I process darker seasons, I’m able to combat it with tools that can aid in providing light.
This past year I learned so much about myself, about others, and about who God is.
After July of 2018, everything was changed again in my life and nothing would be the same again.
It was as if I had a final breaking to the bandaids I had put up against my wounds.
My wounds were exposed and in return, it was painful trying to explore them and heal them. But in a year’s time, I’ve come so far in my healing.
I want to encourage you who are in darker seasons, where you feel disconnected from everything including yourself.
I want you to know, those darker seasons are temporary. Just like the night is temporary. The sun always rises.
And so will the circumstances of your life.
But in order to rise and overcome, you must rise and take an active step in your healing and restoration.
There are steps you need to take that I had to take in order to come out of my depression from grief and change.
And each person is different.
So the timeline will be different than the person next to you.
Overcoming depression is not easy. It’s a battle. An every day battle. Moment for moment you will be fighting to stay above the water and not drown.
But you can do it.
Because you were made for more than drowning.
You were made specifically for a purpose.
Nobody is you in this world. And because of that, you have something to offer this world that nobody else ever will be able to.
You are worth fighting for.
Your future is worth fighting for.
Your purpose is worth fighting for.
Your impact on this world is worth fighting for.
Your heart is worth fighting for.
And your beautiful light is worth fighting for.
Find every ounce of strength you have inside of you and fight.
It’s an uphill battle, so be patient with yourself if you need to rest and lean on someone else.
You aren’t alone in this battle of life.
You are never alone.
Just look up and you will see hundreds of people pass by you in a day.
Just sitting here on this beach knowing every person here is currently struggling with something, whether they show it on their face or not, is comforting. Knowing I am not alone in this life.
Knowing other people have felt the feelings I have felt.
Is comforting and inspiring and motivating.
Know that you are equipped to overcome anything this life brings you.
Know that your light is stronger than any dark thing this world creates.
Don’t let the opinions of few people make you want to abandon yourself because you don’t feel worthy or not good enough.
Don’t let a few lost people steer you to become lost.
Discover who you are and what you desire out of this life and let that be an anchor that helps you remain connected to your identity.
My identity comes from my faith in a Christ, and because of this, it doesn’t waver.
Circumstances may make me feel confused or lost sometimes, but my faith in God’s love for me will always guide me back to where I belong. Back to myself and the fact that I am a child of God and I am loved by God.
You are loved too by God, whether you know him or not. He still loves you.
You will always be loved in your life.
So whenever you feel unloved by the people on this planet, know that there’s a higher power that loves you unconditionally.
His love never wavers.
This is what kept me connected to myself even though I felt numbed by pain last summer. This truth never wavered for me this past year, and because I remained anchored to it, I followed that light led truth to higher ground.
To think one year ago, I was so deep in grief that every single person in my life saw me cry and in deep pain.
And now every single person in my life sees the light restored.
Interesting how one year everything can change for the better, if you just keep fighting and believing.
Never give up.
It’s only a matter of time before the tides change.
Just ride with the flow of life, the ups, the downs, and the in between, and you will eventually end up in different places.
Nothing is permanent in this life. Everything is temporary.
Everything is always changing.
So just know if you’re experiencing a darker season, your season of joy is just around the corner.